09/07/09 11:30 PM
I have so much swirling around in my head these days.
In the last two weeks, two of my friends have lost children. Just babies really. My heart broke. Is breaking.
I'm so sad, just so sad. I just simply can't imagine how much pain my friends must be in.
I went to little Isaac's memorial service, a beautiful celebration of his life. It was beautiful and awful at the same time. Oh, the message was full of Jesus and the message of hope. The strength of my friend and her husband was evident. The music was worship-ful. It was awful because no one should have to attend a memorial service for a sweet babe, just 104 days old.
My children know about Nicole and Rick, how Armondo died in the hospital a few days ago.
My children know about Christa and Jon and baby Isaac and how he was hurting in the hospital.
But how do I explain that? How do I explain that to my babies?
Yeah, they know but how could they really know. I don't really know. It's escaping me, how to even work these things out in my head.
Tonight I was sharing with the children that not everything in the Bible is happy and wonderful. There are some things that are hard to understand. Some things that don't make sense. Some things that aren't so good.
Abby was looking at a book of baby Moses, the basket baby. She asked if that was a good story. "Well, I dunno. I mean he was a baby and taken away from his mommy, when he was a little baby."
Max asked me if the story of Abraham was a good one. How about the story of Abraham and the sacrifice? Oh good one, I thought, we've never gone over this one. This should be a good one to handle while they are in their beds, late, everybody tired. Cranky Sam. Breathe in. Breathe out. "Well, it's sort of a sad one. I mean God told Abraham to offer up Isaac as a sacrifice. Abraham was very old, with no children, wanting them. God told him his descendants would be as many as the starts in the sky. Then he has Isaac and God tells him to kill his son as a sacrifice. I dunno, what do you think, is that a good story? But then, God provides the sacrifice that is needed. Abraham was obedience. God could be trusted. So I guess it was a good story. And a bad story all at once." Whew. That was nearly painful.
I shared with the kids that it's like God has this big puzzle, a BIG one. I can't see the whole thing, but He can. I can only see the piece that I'm in. Right now. And the puzzle is made up of all of history, the present and the future. It's made up of everyone in China, Russia, Turkey, the United States and on and on. It's made up of things that are bad and good. And He puts it together. Ah, I think I was talking out loud more for me than them. Yep, I'm pretty sure I was.
At Isaac's beautiful memorial, the pastor shared the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's song, His Strength is Perfect.
It goes something like this:
"I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength,
But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me;
No great success to show, No glory on my own,
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know . . .
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone;
He'll carry us when we can't carry on.
Raised in His power, the weak become strong;"
I just don't understand so much. I suppose it's supposed to be that way.
If you'd like to love on Christa, you can visit her blog at Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Please keep Nicole and Rick, and their 3 children, in your prayers as they also figure out a new normal.
~Oh and lest you think I've got it all figured out, please know that I am clueless. I am so clueless. ClueLESS. I don't know anything and He knows it all. That's all I know. Just a disclaimer.